Seeking Him Whom My Soul Loves

Take this heart, it's all yours
I'm tired of this role
I'm done playing the whore

I've chased after everything I could afford
Now my mind is more tired than my legs have ever been before

"Was it worth it?" You ask, as I'm lifted from the floor
"Yes" I answer
"If only to show me you are the only one I should adore"

You call out; arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away...
Your love is sweet, draw me after you; let us run, I say

And so we do, in leaps and bounds
And my heart can feel eyes all around

They whisper of this long lost lover
One who doesn't stay under cover

Tall and ruddy, with eyes like fire
Oh, lover of my soul, come take me higher

I am seeking him whom my soul loves
With him, I find peace

If you find him let me know
I'm looking for the one whose life I need to lead

I should be your reflection in the mirror
Living a way unnatural to me

Despite my human inhibitions
You lived, and died, and rose for me

What love! What passion, overwhelming!
Give me grace for understanding

The height, the depth
The length, the width

Of this abounding love
I now hold in my hands

It scares me and I try to run
But again you take my hand.

You lead us through tumultuous waves
Toward the warm and stable sand

On backs we lie and count the stars
So numerous and grand

He tells of his love, greater than the stars
And I wonder...
How could I ever leave this man?

And yet I do
I shamefully slink away

But with graceful reprimand
He brings me back, tells me to stay

For I am his, and his alone
All others are sub par

And I again I wonder, and I swear
To never roam so far

Here I've built a sanctuary
A hiding place and shield

A refuge for the weak and wary
To You I gladly yield.

Running To Find You

Run away.
I just want to run away
From all these doubts and fears of disappointment
Feels like I'm going nowhere at the moment

Drive.
I wish I could drive through the night
Emerging in the soft glow of the morning light
Unafraid of not knowing when or where my journey ends

You.
Sometimes I wish you wouldn't plague me
Or that you'd swoop in and save me
From the chaos in my mind

But instead you hover
Like a shadow of a lover
You're there one day, then gone another
Like you can't make up your mind

Skip.
 I wish that I could skip somethings in life
Like this unpleasant feeling we call 'lonely'
But then I'd miss the whole adventure of you getting to know me

Though, I know there's so much more to living life

Life.
Why can't life, most days, be easy?
I feel like some days that I won't sleep until I die

So I content myself with dreaming
While through my window sunlight's gleaming

Because they who dream by day
are aware of so much more
than those who only dream at night

Night.
 For many, I feel, night is a truly confusing time of day
My body is weary
My feet are dragging
My mood is dreary
And yet, Night is when my imagination comes out to play

Here.
 Here is where I leave you
But where 'Here' is, is up to you
And with you, I leave an image
Though a rather fuzzy image:

Of a girl wandering through life
skipping town
driving through the night
A girl running away,
 just to find you.

Running away to find you, here.

Bitter

A poem by my sweet friend and sister, Sophia.

Let me be me for just a moment
Let me be me and see for just a moment
Give this bitter heart glasses
Let this selfish girl see
Put it all in perspective, all in perspective for me

Maybe I cry because I don't look at the moon
Or hear crickets chirping on a night when you realize it's over so soon

The lights, the part, the action,
I find myself snatching at these things
Like they're all I have
Oh, what I miss
When I can't see past the lists
Of ways to get to You without forgetting who
Everyone else is, and where they fit in
And how it'll all work out
And if I'll ever kiss him

Lord, PLEASE don't let me miss it
The point
I don't want to go any further
So disjointed from my Father in Heaven

Do You look down on me?
I bet you wish I could see
the way You do...

I wish I know how it felt to not be afraid
Afraid of myself and what I could do
If I weren't strong enough
If I let those thoughts through

Lord, I am trying to change my mind
And my mouth
My words taste bitter as I let them out
And my laugh, oh, my laugh
How it stabs me in the back
It returns to haunt me
These things are so bad

Let me be me and see for a moment
Let me be me and see for just a moment
Hear the crickets, feel the moonlight
It's all You...
Don't let me lose sight.