I was...

Nineteen today, but not tomorrow
Can't make up my mind between
Gladness and Sorrow

Thinking of the year that's passed,
Of moments, memories, friends that last
Times that left me happy and confused,
Other where I was sad and bruised

A whole spectrum of emotions
Crammed into a short twelve months
A lifetime of experiences
Learning to believe and hope and trust and love

Learning what you're made of
Learning who you really are
Learning to be humble
While reaching for the stars.

Learning what was meant
When they spoke of 'love' and 'loss'
Learning that I"m broken,
And how much I need the cross

Caffeinated,
And jaded
It's how I greet the day
But I found that it's your grace
That lets me see life another way

I don't know where I'm going,
What I'm doing
But I know that You know all
I'm glad that I can trust you
To pick me up each time I fall

I was nineteen
It was a crazy year,
Of living
Learning
Loving
Yearning
Falling
Flying
Cutting
Dying
living on the edge without ever really trying

Asking questions
learning facts
Going mad,
And keeping my insanity intact

I wrote some poetry
And sang some songs
And sometimes others sang along
I did somethings that made you proud
And things I'd rather not be said aloud

There's nothing I would change
At least, if given the chance
There are no regrets I have
That could possibly out weigh the experience

looking foreword to another year
Of living
learning
Loving
Yearning
Of daily in your mercies growing
Giving grace where it's least expected
Waiting for strengths to be tested
For weaknesses to reappear
And knowing, to You, I can draw near

Leaning upon You when I feel broken
Trying to keep my cynical heart open
To your love and kindness, never failing

More life to be lived
More coffee to be had
More songs to be sung
Life's songs, both good and bad

I'm unsure how to end
In truth, life's just begun
Though a lot seems to be changing
Everything essentially stays the same

But this chapter must
be brought to a close
A new page be made ready
for exciting new words of adventure to flow

Nineteen no more, nevermore, no, nevermore.
Nineteen today, but not tomorrow
I was Nineteen.